grandmother.
a praying one, a sacrificing one, a strong one, a woman/queen of reason, my foundation, my matriarch - my grandmother.
i gotta do better grandma, i gotta get back right.
depression
am i depressed? what is wrong with me? whats wrong with my mind? whats wrong with my well being. I am not depressed but things about me are depressing and i need a sark - but what would be the fucking spark?
what would be that thing, that thing - that thing thats going to bring some light in my gloomy ass world. powell associates is always hiring, but what does my consciousness want to employ? who does my consciousness want to hire permanently?
i’ll be fine, i felt the need to let this out this way. i love you daddy, i miss you. #LLC
probation. 
maybe i need to be put on probation. maybe i need to see what am i going for before i honestly want to say yes. will i lose myself? can i still maintain my life and routine? rashad would you have to give more this time because of xyz?
rashad dont forget what we started. dont let anything nor anyone come in your world and shake the shit up you have already set out for yourself.
probation period she said? haha last time i was on probation - i became a new man. dont give me time to develop, i become dangerous.
1.
